UKALU

“Omu twapwilenga naukalu muulo wetu, pwevo lyami alwezelenga visemi jenyi ukalu kana. Kaha vaise vangusanyikilenga nakungukafwa haukalu kana. Oloze chuma kana kachangwivwishile kuwahako.”—James. *

“Kakavulu mawenu ahanjikilenga ngwenyi, ‘nguli nakushinganyeka mwanami. Eji kuhanjikanga omu valikachilenga namwanenyi, kaha cheji kungulingisanga nguliveye kusomboka kuli mwanenyi nakwivwisa chikela mawenu.”—Natasha

Uno ukalu wavisemi unahase kwingila muulo wavana vavo tahi?

VYUMA MWATELA KUTACHIKIZA

Ulo weji kununganga valunga napwevo. Mbimbiliya yahanjika ngwayo lunga uze mwambata “mwakaseza ise nanaye nakukalipanjika napwevo lyenyi.” Omu mukiko chapwa nakuli pwevo kutalisa kuli visemi jenyi. Nge nasomboka, Mbimbiliya yahanjika ngwayo veji kupwanga ‘mujimba umwe.’ Veji kupwanga jino hitanga yimwe.—Mateu 19:5.

Ulo wenu wapwa waulemu kuhambakana visemi jenu. Muka-kulonga malo umwe walijina lyaJohn M. Gottman ambile ngwenyi, “Chuma chachilemu kuli vaka-kulimbata shina kulivumbika. Kuzachila hamwe namuka-mahyenu chasaka kusosolokako kuli visemi jenu chipwe vasongo jenu navayaya jenu.” *

Visemi vamwe chinahase kuvakaluhwila kutachikiza ulo wavana vavo. Mukweze umwe uze ambata ambile ngwenyi: “Omu twapwile kanda tulimbate, puwami ahakilenga vyuma vahanjikilenga visemi jenyi kulutwe. Oloze omu twalimbachile, vanaye vamwene ngwavo kwapwile mutu weka uze apwile wamulemu kuhambakana vakiko. Echi chavakaluhwilile kuchitavila.”

Navaka-kulimbata vavahya vamwe chinahase kuvakaluhwila. James uze twavulukanga lyehi ambile ngwenyi: “Kupwa navaisowenu navanokowenu kachapwa nge kupwa namasepa kahako. Chapwa kwijiva nge mutu nambe ngwenyi, ‘Uli namasepa vavahya vavali, numba unasake numba kawasakileko.’ Numba tuhu navakwivwisa kupihya kumuchima, vanapu hitanga yove!”

 VYUMA MWATELA KULINGA

Nge munalivundula namuka-mahyenu mwomwo yachihande chize chinafumu kuli vaisowenu chipwe vanokowenu, kaha kumisenu ukalu kana mukuunda. Kavangizenu mazu amuMbimbiliya akwamba ngwavo “sakasaka kuunda, uchikavangizenga.”—Samu 34:14.

Hakusaka mulinge chuma kana, talenu vyakutalilaho vino. Vyakutalilaho kana navihanjika hali lunga chipwe hali pwevo. Oloze vyuma vili muvyakutalilaho kana navimikafwa mwakukumishila ukalu nge munalivundula navaisowenu navanokowenu.

Nge puwenu mwamilweza ngwenyi mwatela kulivwasana navanokowenu. Oloze cheji kumikaluhwilanga kulivwasana navanokowenu.

Esekenu echi: Shimutwilenu ukalu kana napuwenu nakupwa namuchima wakulivwasana. Ukalu kaweshi omu mweji kumonanga vanokowenuko, oloze omu mweji kumonanga puwenu uze mwalishingile kuzanganga lwola lwosena. Halwola lwakushimutwila chihande kana, wanenu jijila jivali jize najimikafwa mulivwasanenga navanokowenu nakujikavangizanga. Omu puwenu mwamona muli nakufwila kuhonesa ukalu kana, mwamivumbikanga chikuma.—Lushimbi lwamuMbimbiliya: Wavaka-Kolinde 1, 10:24.

Nge lunga lyenu mwamilweza ngwenyi mweji kuhakanga chikuma muchima kuli visemi jenu kuhambakana ikiye.

Esekenu echi: Shimutwilenu ukalu kana nalunga lyenu nakuhunanana havishinganyeka vyenyi. Oloze muchima wenu wakuvumbika chikuma visemi jenu kawatela kwivwisa woma lunga lyenuko. (Vishimo 23:22) Chipwe ngocho, mwatela kumufwelelesa muhanjikiso namuvilinga ngwenu apwa wamulemu kuhambakana visemi jenu. Echi nachimulingisa alivwe nge apwa wamulemu hamwe navisemi jenu.—Lushimbi lwamuMbimbiliya: Wavaka-Efwesu 5:33.

Nge puwenu eji kuyanga kuli vanokowenu vamukafwe muchishishisa chakwiza kuli enu.

Esekenu echi: Shimutwilenu chihande kana napuwenu nakulivwasana vyuma vize mwatela kuzachilaho. Fwilenu kupwa namuchima wauvwovu. Kutala chapwa chachipi kushimutwila ukalu nachisemi tahi? Uno lwola muka lwamwaza mwatela kushimutwila navo? Nge muvosena muvavali namulivwasana havyuma vimwe, kaha munahase kukumisa ukalu kana.—Lushimbi lwamuMbimbiliya: Wavaka-Fwilipi 4:5.

^ par. 4 Majina ali muno muchihande vanawalumuna.

^ par. 9 Kufuma mumukanda waThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.