Kulaala na muntu kya kumukanjikizha ko kuka?

Kwesakana na mwayila mizhilo, bino byambo bebilumbulwila mwapusana pusana monka mwapusena mapunzha, byambo bya kuba’mba “kulaala na muntu kya kumukanjikizha” byakonsha kulumbulula kulaala na muntu kwabula kufwainwa, bimye bimo kwingijisha bulume. Byakonsha kuvwangamo bintu nabiji kukuna baana, kulaala na bakilongo, kulaala na muntu kya kumukanjikizha, kulaala na muntu ye waketekela nabiji dokotala, mufunjishi nangwa ntangi wa bupopweshi. Bamo bo balaala kya kukanjikizha mu ñambilo nangwa kulaala kwa kine, bebachiinya amba bakebakambula inge bebalobelamo.

Kwesakana na kupesapesa kumo, pa mwaka pa mwaka mu United States, bantu 250,000 bebalaala kya kwibakanjikizha. Kichika kya bano bantu baji pakachi ka myaka 12 ne 18.

 Bya mwafwainwa kuyuka

  • Baibolo ukaanya kulaala na muntu kya kumukanjikizha. Baibolo waamba pa jibumba ja bantu ba bulalelale bakebelenga kulaala na banabalume babiji kya kwibakanjikizha baishile na kufwakasha mu muzhi wa Sodoma myaka nobe 4,000 yapitapo, kabiji kyamwesha ene mambo Yehoba o aonawijile yewa muzhi. (Ntendekelo 19:4-13) Kunungapo, Mizhilo yo bapeele Mosesa myaka 3,500 yapitapo, yakainye kulaala na bakilongo kumvwangakotu ne kulaala na wa mu kisemi.—Bena Levi 18:6.

  • Bantu javula bo balaala kya kwibakanjikizha beboba bino ku bantu bo bayuka. Buku wa kuba’mba Talking Sex With Your Kids waamba’mba: “Pa bantu basatu bo balaala kya kwibakanjikizha, babiji bo bayuka bo balaajile nabo. Kechi bantu babula kuyukanyikwa basolomokatu ponkapo ne.”

  • Banabalume ne banabakazhi bonse bebalaala kya kwibankanjikizha. Mu United States, pa bantu bo balaala kya kwibakanjikizha, mapesenti 10 ke banabalume. Kipamo kya Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), kyaambile’mba banabalume bo balaala kya kwibakanjikizha bakamwa’mba “kampe bakonsha kwibalula ke bakulaala nabo ku banabalume bakwabo” nangwa “kwiumvwa’mba ‘kechi banabalume ne.’”

  • Kulaala na bantu kya kwibakanjikizha kubena kuvula bingi. Baibolo waambijile jimo amba mu “moba a kupelako” bantu bavula bakekala “babula butemwe” kabiji “bashinta” kabiji “babula kwikanya.” (2 Timoti 3:1-3) Bino byubilo bimwekela mu bantu bakeba kulaala na bantu kya kwibakanjikizha.

  • Muntu ye balaala kya kukanjikizha kechi walenga mambo ne. Kafwako ukeba’mba bamulaale kya kumukanjikizha ne. Wakanjikizha mukwabo ye uji na mambo. Nangwa byonkabyo, kuji bintu byo mwafwainwa kuba pa kuba’mba babule kwimulaala kya kwimukanjikizha.

 Byo mwafwainwa kuba

  • Inengezhezhai jimo. Yukilai jimo byo mwafwainwa kuba inge muntu ke emukanjikizhe kulaala nanji, nangwatu wimwipanguzha nangwa wa kilongo. Nsongwakazhi wa jizhina ja Erin waamba’mba kwinengezha jimo ku byonse byakonsha kukukanjikizha bakwenu kuba, kwakonsha kukuzhikijila ne kuyuka bya kuba. Wanungapo’mba “wakonsha kumweka nobe washajila mu bya kala, pano bino kuba bino kwakonsha kukuzhikijila mu bwikalo.”

    Baibolo wamba’mba: “Monainga bulongo byo mwenda, kechi mwendenga nobe bantu babula maana ne, poso nobe bantu ba maana, . . . mambo ano moba atama.”—Efisesa 5:15, 16.

    Ishikishai amba: ‘Nakonsha kuba byepi inge kya kuba muntu ke ankwate mu jishinda jabula kufwainwa?’

  • Yukilai jimo jishinda ja kunyemenamo. Kipamo kya RAINN kyaamba’mba “mwafwainwa kwikalapo na ñambilo yayuka balunda nenu nangwa ba mu kisemi yo mwakonsha kwibabuujilamo inge muntu ke emukatazhe kwa kubula aye kuyuka. Balunda nenu nangwa ba mu kisemi bakonsha kwiya na kwimusenda nangwa kubapo bimo byakonsha kulengela amba mufumepo.” Mwakonsha kwizhikijila inge saka muchinuzhuka kutanwa mu mapunzha atama.

    Baibolo wamba’mba: “Muntu wajimuka umona bileta malwa kabiji ufyama, pakuba muntu wabula maana uyatu kabiji umona bya malwa.”—Byambo bya Maana 22:3.

    Ishikishai amba: ‘Ñanyi jishinda ja kunyemenamo jo nanengezha?’

  • Yukai pa kupelela ne kulondela byonkabyo. Kya kumwenako, inge mwaipanguzha, anweba ne mulunda nenu mwafwainwa kwisambila jimo byubilo byawama ne byabula kufwainwa. Inge kya kuba muntu ye mwaipanguzha kealanguluke amba kuyuka pa kupelela kechi kwawama ne, mwafwainwa kumuleka ne kukeba mukwabo wanemeka mizhilo yo mulondela.

    Baibolo wamba’mba: “Butemwe . . . kechi buba bya bumvu ne, kechi bukeba bintu bibuwamina abo bwine ne.”—1 Kolinda 13:4, 5.

    Ishikishai amba: ‘Ñanyi mizhilo yo ndondela? Ñanyi byubilo byabula kuyilamo?’