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Jehovah’s Witnesses

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK

Should We Break Up?—Part 2

First, choose a proper setting for the discussion. What could that be?

Well, think about how you would like to be treated. (Matthew 7:12) Would you want the announcement to be made in front of others? Likely not.

Unless circumstances make it advisable, it would be best not to terminate a relationship by means of a telephone answering machine, a text message, or an e-mail. Instead, choose a time and place that will enable you to discuss this serious matter.

What should you say when the time comes to speak up? The apostle Paul urged Christians to “speak truth” with one another.Ephesians 4:25.

The best course, then, is to be tactful yet firm. State clearly why you feel that this relationship won’t work for you.

You don’t need to recite a laundry list of faults or let loose with a barrage of criticism. In fact, instead of saying, “You don’t do this” or “You never do that,” it would be better to use phrases that focus on how you feel“I need a person who . . .” or “I feel that this relationship should end because . . .”

This is no time to be wishy-washy or to yield to another’s opinion. Remember, you have chosen to break up for a serious reason. So be cautious if your friend attempts to change your mind through subtle forms of manipulation. “After I ended the relationship,” says a young woman named Lori, “my ex-boyfriend started acting depressed all the time. I think he did it to make me feel sorry for him. I did feel bad. But I didn’t allow his reaction to alter my decision.” Like Lori, know your own mind. Stick to your decision. Let your no mean no.James 5:12.

Aftermath of a Breakup.

Don’t be surprised if you’re deeply upset for a time after the breakup. You might even feel like the psalmist who said: “I have become disconcerted, I have bowed low to an extreme degree; all day long I have walked about sad.”Psalm 38:6.

Some well-intentioned friends may try to help by encouraging you to give the relationship another chance. Be careful! You, not your well-meaning friends, will have to live with your decision. So don’t be afraid to remain firm—even though you may feel sad about what’s happened.

Be assured that eventually your painful feelings will pass. In the meantime, why not take positive steps, such as the following, to cope with the situation?