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Jehovah’s Witnesses

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What if I Just Don’t Fit In?

What you can do

First, identify the type of people you find it most challenging to fit in with.

Age:

I don’t fit in with . . .

  • peers

  • older youths

  • adults

Performance:

I don’t fit in with people who are . . .

  • athletic

  • talented

  • intellectual

Personality:

I don’t fit in with people who are . . .

  • confident

  • popular

  • in a clique

Second, pick the statement that describes your typical reaction to being with the people you identified above.

  • I pretend to have similar interests or abilities.

  • I ignore their interests and talk about my own.

  • I stay quiet and look for the first opportunity to leave.

Third, take the initiative! You can’t always expect people to reach out to you; sometimes you have to reach out to them. (Philippians 2:4) How can you do that?

Look outside your age group. Think about it: Why limit yourself to one age group and then complain that you can’t find friends? That would be like starving to death on a desert island when there are fish swimming all around you!

My mother encouraged me to try talking with older ones. She said I’d be surprised to learn how much I had in common with them. She was right, and I now have many friends!”—Helena, 20.

Develop conversational skills. The key is to (1) listen, (2) ask questions, and (3) show genuine interest.—James 1:19.

I try to be a listener rather than a talker. And when I talk, I try not to talk about myself or put others in a negative light.”—Serena, 18.

If a person wants to talk about something that I’m not familiar with, I’ll ask him to explain things, which will hopefully make him talk to me even more.”—Jared, 21.

I’m a shy person, so I have to push myself to converse. But to make friends, you have to be friendly. So I’ve started talking.”—Leah, 16.

 

LEARN MORE

Is It Wrong to Be Popular?

Young people seek popularity in different ways. Is the desire to be liked by others always wrong?

Who Are My True Friends?

Learn how you can build true and lasting friendships.